How to Stop Self-Abandonment and Reclaim Your Power
In this blog, I share my journey about overcoming self-abandonment, a pattern that many of us unknowingly fall into. I also talk about how I made the decision to choose myself, set boundaries, and prioritize my needs, and encourage you to reflect on where you've been putting yourself last and how to start shifting toward self-love and boundary-setting.
My pattern of self-abandonment
For a long time, I didn’t realize I was stuck in a pattern that was holding me back — self-abandonment.
Like many of us, I would put others' needs before my own, thinking that’s what I was supposed to do. I believed if I kept everyone happy and was always available, I would be loved and safe.
But here’s the truth: every time we abandon ourselves, we lose touch with who we are meant to be. We shrink. We forget our power. And we lose the energy and confidence that make us come alive.
I’ve felt that. I’ve lived that. And I know how exhausting it can be. But after a deep reflection, I made a decision: enough was enough.
Enough was enough
I began to choose myself, one small step at a time. I started saying “no” when my heart wasn’t in it. I began setting boundaries where I used to bend, and I started listening to my own needs before rushing to meet everyone else’s. And do you know what happened? Everything began to shift. I felt more energized, more confident, and more connected to what actually lights me up.
You can change this pattern too.
I invite you to reflect on your life:
Where in your life have you been putting yourself last?
When have you silenced your own needs?
When have you abandoned your dreams to make space for someone else’s?
NO SHAME. NO BLAME. NO JUDGMENT.
It’s okay if you’ve done this — no shame, no blame, no judgment. We’ve all been there. And also - today is a chance to choose differently and remind yourself that you are worthy of the same love and attention you give to others. You are worthy of putting yourself first, not because you have to prove anything, but simply because you matter. Your needs matter. Your dreams matter.
Make a powerful shift
Together, let’s make a powerful shift:
Say “yes” to what lights you up, and “no” to what drains you.
Set a boundary where you’ve felt stretched too thin.
Honor the part of you that’s been quietly waiting for permission to take up space and be seen.
Boundaries aren’t selfish
Remember, setting boundaries isn’t selfish — it’s self-love in action. When you choose yourself, you give the world a version of you that is whole, vibrant, and unstoppable. You’re not just showing up for yourself — you’re showing up as the fullest, brightest version of who you are meant to be.
This is your invitation to start reclaiming your power. No more shrinking. No more self-abandonment. It’s time to embody your truth, knowing that when you prioritize yourself, you’re creating a life that reflects your highest potential. And I’m right here with you on this journey.
YOU can do this
You are powerful. You are worthy. You are enough — exactly as you are.
P.S. Did you know that self-abandonment often starts with our nervous system? When we’ve been conditioned to believe that making others happy is “safe,” our nervous system adapts to keep us stuck in that cycle. It’s actually a beautiful act of self-protection. The good news? You can teach your nervous system to feel safe while prioritizing yourself. If this resonates with you, I encourage you to learn more about nervous system regulation and how it can transform the way you show up for yourself. You can find more resources on this topic here.
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