The Let Them Theory Will Change The Way You Do Everything
In this post, we dive into a transformative mindset shift inspired by The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. The key message? We often give away our peace and power by allowing others' opinions, behaviors, and choices to dictate our emotional state. The truth is, you only have control over three things. Learn what they are below.
The Let Them Theory
I wanted to share with you a game-changing mindset shift that I came across on one of my favorite podcasts, The Skinny Confidential Him and Her. It is The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins.
If you've been following my Monday Motivation newsletter or blog for a while, you know I often dive into topics about personal growth — especially the things you have the power to control. Things like...
What you think.
What you do.
How you move through emotions.
I focus on these topics because everything outside of that is beyond your control.
The Let Them Theory suggests that if you've been feeling stuck, frustrated, or unfulfilled, it might have something to do with handing your power to others — letting their behavior, their opinions, or their choices dictate your peace.
The problem isn’t you, my love.
The problem is the power you've been giving away to others.
Think about it for a second: How much of your time and energy is spent stressing about what others think, worrying about how others will react, or trying to control everything?
And what do you think would actually happen if you stopped? I promise you'd have more time and energy to focus on what is actually important to you.
Here are some examples:
Someone's rude to you? Let them.
Your family doesn't support your dreams? Let them.
Your college friends watch your stories, but don't reach out? Let them.
Your hinge date doesn't suggest a second date? Let them.
Your boss doesn't put you up for promotion? Let them.
Your spouse does something that irritates you. Let them.
Why? Because their actions and opinions are not about you. They're about them. By choosing to let them be who they are and show up the way they want to, you're reclaiming your own focus, time, and energy.
When you embrace this shift, you’ll find:
You have more energy for your goals and dreams.
More time for the people who truly matter.
More confidence in your ability to move through life.
More emotional resilience.
How can you apply this to your life?
Next time you feel irritated, frustrated, or drained by someone else's behavior, I invite you to:
Pause (and towards regulation).
Say to yourself, “Let them.”
Then redirect your energy back to what you can control: focus on your own actions, thoughts, and emotional responses.
It is all about reclaiming your power, one imperfect and tolerable decision at a time.
Because Remember:
When you stop handing over your energy to others, you have more of it to pour into yourself and the things that truly matter to you — your purpose, your impact, your values, etc.
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